Help I foolishly agree to give a talk to our local U3A.....

[geoffw]

........ on my Wireless Weather Station!

Any ideas, weather connected jokes or funny stories, and suggestions would be much appreciated.

[steve]

You could do the one about using a piece of string nailed to a block of wood as a weather station:

String wet: raining
String hard to see: foggy
String on fire: lightning
String moving: windy
String missing: VERY windy

Good luck!

[geoffw]

You could do the one about using a piece of string nailed to a block of wood as a weather station:....!

Good start Steve ..... any more good ideas folks?

[robynfali]

Yeah, steer clear of any torndao related jokes at the moment!!


http://weather-jokes.allthejokes.com/

[geoffw]

Ar yes I should inject a touch of humour!

[werribee_au]

Ar yes I should inject a touch of humour!

Here's a short one I found googling, it did give me a laugh

A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

[werribee_au]

I also liked this one......

Good luck with the talk Geoff.

I was working in a scrap yard in Southern England during summer vacation at engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment.
One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch.
As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it.
"So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked.
Suddenly, an idea flashed into my mind (I know not from where.)
"Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter."
There was a long pause, then his face cleared.
"You know, I always wondered about that," he said.

[geoffw]

[geoffw]

Thanks for the MANY suggestions - all of which I could easily have used, but in the end I decided on only one amusing aside and this is what I found in "A Wrong Kind of Snow" by Antony Woodward & Robert Penn

"You can spend your whole life trying to be popular, but at the end of the day, the size of the crowd at your funeral will be largely dictated by the weather!" Frank Skinner

My talk is at 11.00 this morning and will heavily feature Cumulus ...... of course!

[steve]

Break a leg, Geoff